‘I just met a vampire,’ I said. Really?’ said Matt. ‘Where?’ ‘Outside. I was putting out the bins, and there he or she was. Just by the church.’ ‘What did you say?’ asked Matt. ‘I said hello. And the vampire said “Hello” back, in rather a scared voice. I went to wheel out another bin, [...]
Today I drew up more templates for the New York job. Extracting dimensions from the architect is like getting blood from a stone. I’ve asked ten or eleven times. Sometimes he generously sends me AutoCAD drawings, but I don’t have the ACAD programme, so I can’t read them. My assistant Monica worked in an architect’s [...]
‘So when the bombers fly overhead, they use your house as target practice for a virtual bombing raid’ my neighbour said to me yesterday. ‘What? No! Never!’ I said, as I know when my leg is being pulled. ‘Yeah, really. I’m not kidding! Both the Americans and the Brits use the church as a target [...]
‘You ought not to live on headache tablets’ one of my friends advises Matt. ‘They are really bad for you. It’s well known.’ She changes tack. ‘You’ve been in London all week then?’ she asks. ‘Yes, I’ve been in the edit. Em’s been in Norfolk on her own.’ ‘So what’s it like living in the [...]
‘Did you sleep OK?’ ‘Yes. How about you?’ ‘More than five hours. It’s the most I’ve had for weeks.’ ‘Me too.’ ‘Do you think the bells are about to start ringing?’ ‘Half past six? It might be a bit early. Apparently they always ring them on a Sunday though.’ ‘It was funny when Fiona became [...]
‘Would you like a cup of tea Loric?’ ‘His name’s Goris’ said Toby. ‘Goric?’ ‘No. Goris.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry’ I said. ‘Don’t worry’ said Goris ‘Ive been called all sorts of things – Lawrie, Boris ….’ Goris, like Boris, I thought, I’ll remember that. ‘Well Goris, would you like a cup of tea?’ ‘That’d [...]
We met outside the block of flats. ‘Hello’ I said. ‘Hello’ said Toby. ‘This is Tim. This is George, and this is Ilaria.’ ‘Hello’ I said. We worked all day making mosaics. George, a beautiful English girl, told us about her boyfriend. ‘We met on the plane to LA’ she said. ‘It was amazing. I [...]
I’m not really a moulder of men, I’m more of a fellow traveller. I think it comes from having brothers and sisters – you just have to share, or there’s big trouble from the siblings. I don’t make much of an impression on people either – they always forget they’ve ever met me, and at [...]
In the eighties, when I started working in mosaic, there were two suppliers of glass – Udny and Milano. Milano was somewhere in the outer reaches of North London. It might have been High Barnet — those depressing leafy conservative places all look the same to me. I did enjoy the occasional trip into this [...]
It is Monday, and it is hot. I am at the Apple store in Regent Street. I’ve been at work on my book ‘Mosaic Masterclass’ but something is wrong with the computer. It has almost no available memory. I am trying to ditch folders to free up space but they will not delete. I have [...]